Heard Him Sing
by CriesofCapricorn
Summary: Post-"Not Fade Away". Lorne reflects on himself, Lindsey, and the show-biz world. (For Lorne and Lindsey lovers - not slash, though).


**Lindsey: You don't trust me. You don't think a man can change? **

**Lorne: It's not about what I think. This was Angel's plan. **

**Lindsey: Come on. (_smiles_) I could sing for you. **

**Lorne: I've heard you sing. (_takes out a gun with a silencer and shoots Lindsey twice in the chest_)**

Boy, had I heard him sing... don't get me wrong – I had made it sound like a bad thing. It wasn't. That boy has the voice of an angel. Hell, he makes 'Ole Blue Eyes' Sinatra look like an amateur. Well, okay, that's not true because Sinatra – he's on the top of the pyramid when it comes to vocals. But this Lindsey McDonald was just as good. It's what I saw inside him that scared the living bee-jebus outta me.

I look inside people while they sing and read their aura – their future. When Lindsey came into Caritas that night, three years ago, I did the same thing with him. At the time, I didn't think much of it. I mean I saw darkness, two main figures, and this impending sense of doomsday. Big deal, right? It was something incredibly movie-ish and I _was_ a _big_ fan of the cinema. Now looking back on it, I scold myself for being so carefree. The two figures, kiddies, wanna guess who they were? None other than our own Angel and Lindsey, of course. The two were gonna spar – like literally – to their death. When all was said and done, they were going to ... well, do something that doesn't make me a fan of those kind of films anymore.

That's why when Angel gave me this one final job – I had to take it. I just _had to_. Angel-cakes was right – Lindsey McDonald was a big threat... with a larger-than-life capital T. So why did I feel so damn upset when I completed the task. Because I killed a human being, even if he was no good? Because I've gone out on a limb once too many times for Angel and just now I realized the cycle's never going to end? Because the reason I escaped Pylea in the first place was to _not_ become a fighter and hunter – but, hell, that's what I've been doing all along here? It's all of these reasons plus another not so self-involved one.

Yeah, that right. This reason is solely about Mr. McDonald. He's not your average villain, is he? He doesn't have a secret lair of evil. He doesn't have those wicked smirks when he's just formulated a super-vile plan. Lindsey's an indecisive individual; extremely wishy-washy. One minute he's working for Wolfram and Hart, then he's working with Angel-cakes for a day, and then he's back to the start. But, gosh, don't you just _adore_ the tension. He's one of those black and white cookies – incredibly scrumptious on both sides. He's a natural Hamlet – playing wonderfully the good and evil parts... torn apart inside because he just can't make up his mind. Mel Gibson and Sir Laurence Olivier, both Hamlet actors, have _nothing _on this guy.

Speaking of show-biz, have any of you kids ever watched Smallville. It's a real cute show designed for several hormone-crazed teenage girls. But sometimes I can't give a rat's tush about muscular, six foot tall, Clark Kent. My interest lies within Lex Luthor. What a character! Clark Kent catches your interest too but Lex Luthor – darn it! Can you say major internal conflict issues? We all know Lex is supposed to become Clark's number one nemesis from the comics. According to Smallville, Clark and Lex are buds in the beginning. Lex Luthor – a good guy? Now _that's_ a crazy world. But we all love that world. The world full of suspense, not to mention approaching betrayal. It's got everything. But either way, you can't tell me we're not going to love Lex good _or _evil. It's sympathy. Sure he's rich but money doesn't buy a darn-tootin' thing (except gorgeous Armani suits, of course). He's had tons of failing love relationships (so similar to Lindsey's – Darla and now Eve – and I am sorry to say I was the cause to _that _end). All in all, it's almost impossible to completely hate Lindsey. It's empathy, darlin'. He came from nothing; from a small town in Oklahoma. He's worked for what he has – he _earned_ it – even if it is evil. You have to respect him.

And, heck, that's what made my assignment a helluva lot more difficult than all the others'. It wasn't like saving a baby from a cult, or killing a senator accompanied by a bunch of vampires. Those – as painful as they might be physically – does not cause the soul any grief. Because, I'll admit it, Lindsey was the kind of guy you'd want to get to know. And still, I know Angel is right – he's _always_ right – I hate it. You're doing this for the team – for the world – Lorne. For once in your life, be brave. But what I did wasn't a show of courage, it was one of equivocation. I was so deceitful – fought aside Lindsey and then I shot him... just like that. But then again, Lindsey was quite the equivocator as well. I shouldn't feel _too_ bad about that, but I do. Can't help it.

I heard him sing, I remember it as if it were yesterday, no less, three _years_ ago. Lindsey is never going to be part of the solution. Still, I don't know if I believe "a man can change." I'm not really sure – never was. This was all Angel's idea anyway. Well, Angel-cakes, this is the last favor I can do for you. It's been a decent ride – good luck to you all; make an ole singing demon like me proud, will ya? I'm sorry I couldn't do more – but you always knew this – all of this violence – was never my cup of tea. Nice knowin' ya, champ. Oh... and Lindsey... I'm sorry that "a flunky" like me had to kill you. I never liked that notion much either. Hey, look – the end of the movie... it's rolling the credits now. Did I mention I'm really starting to loathe the cinema? Funny... never thought I'd hear those words comin' out of my mouth. Then again, I never thought a lot of things that have happened would happen. Well, then, show's over... "goodnight, folks."

**Lindsey: Why—why did you... **

**Lorne: One last job. You're not part of the solution, Lindsey. You never will be. **

**Lindsey: _You_ kill me? A flunky?! I'm not just... Angel...kills me. You don't... Angel... (_his rapid breathing comes to an end as his body goes limp_)**

**Lorne: (_sighs, looks down_) Goodnight, folks. (_drops gun on floor as he walks out_)**


End file.
